My coworker and I are setting up for our 4:15 robot program and every time we walk back into the workroom we’re saying something weird. About 10 minutes ago we were debating which robots from Star Wars it would be ok to date (basically the ones who have agency and can give their consent. C3PO always tells you when he doesn’t like something. If he’s up for dating you, you can date him.) Just now we were discussing chapter books about robots and as I walked in I was saying “hey, I’ll take alien robots if that’s what I can get!”
We were playing Mario Cart the other day and Pippa blue shelled just as Brandon was about to win first place and she said she was soooo sorry that she lost him the game and he was all “no! That was perfect! Good job!” and I was all “Pippa, you have to be the terror you want to see in the world. ” Because apparently I take parenting cues from Doombot nowadays.
(if excedrin isn’t working on this headache, is it acceptable to amputate one eye and the temple that goes with it to fix the problem? Because right now my eye feels like it’s about to explode and that doesn’t seem pleasant.)
This little girl is using the puppet theatre and she’s making the puppets sing a song about underwear and I’m quite impressed with this improv-ed couplet: when you say it’s very clean pull out your hair in Tatooine!
Dog owners are weird. I’ve seen this post around and around and around and similar posts like it and - I never make my cats guess who’s the best kitty cat in the world! I start off with that shit. “You’re the best kitty cat in the whole world!” “YOU are the cat of all cats!” I think if I ever tried to make Fury or Nenene guess who the best cat in the whole world was they’d be all “bitch, please. We all know it’s me.”
(And no, there is nothing wrong with them both being the best cat in the whole world. Because they are. And so are Eleanor and Freya. And so are your cats.)
I helped a patron on the phone just now with a downloadable book problem and when I explained how to get where he wanted to be and he followed my instructions and it worked? He said “Woah! Look at the big brains on you!”
I always feel like my intense passion for librarianship and the service we do for the public comes off as disingenuous bullshit on paper. I just really believe in this job and think I’d be great at that but how can I say that without seeming like I’m saying just what I think they want to hear?
So Brandon used to be a waiter and we are very anti not tipping waiters no matter how bad the service is.
Tonight? We got served and then we sat there for 40 minutes. FORTY MINUTES before he took our order. Then everything was beyond ridiculously slow, he forgot multiple things we’d ordered, brought the girls the wrong drinks, brought the check then wouldn’t take the credit card for 15 minutes. We sat at that table for over two hours. Oh mah goodness.
Anyway - for tip? Brandon wrote “the service was mediocre at best” then calculated a 15% tip and gave him one penny less than 15%. It was an asshole move but for serious. They were Saturday night busy but not wildly busy and the problem wasn’t the kitchens or him having tons of other tables, he was just bad. So. 15% minus a penny.
Ford is doing a promotional campaign on goodreads and they chose CALIFORNIA for their September Audio Book Club! You can go watch a dorky video I made and then join the club FOR A FREE AUDIO DOWNLOAD of my novel! Next week I’ll start answering questions in the club’s discussion thread. What fun. (My grandpa and uncles all worked for Ford in New Jersey (where I was conceived, FYI), so I know they’ll be proud!)