January 31, 2013   33 notes   

Anonymous said: What's your relationship like with your mom? You seem to be a very loving and devoted mother. Do you think that is something you learned from your mother or something you developed independently? I want to have children but I am scared my relationship with my mom will affect my future children.

Oh, anon, can I hug you?

So I have a great relationship with my mom.  She’s loving and giving and she wants the best for all of us and really I absolutely lucked out in the family department.  She’s absolutely my role model for being a parent.  That said, not having a good relationship with your mom doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be an awesome mother!  Heck, I’m married to someone who doesn’t have the best relationship with his father yet he’s is so awesome parenting our girls. 

If your mom doesn’t make the best role model, who does?  Did you have someone in your life who showed you how to be the best person you can be?  Do you have famous figures you look up to who can model good parenting?  Most importantly - who is in your life right now?  When I had Kaylee I had been living in Chicago for 2 years, I was 3 days from my grad school graduation and all the friends I had made in grad school moved away around the country.  Looking back I wish I had joined a moms group or a bookclub or in some way connected with other young parents because it really does take a village.  Nowadays I’ve made myself a wonderful group of friends who have kids around the same age as the girls and I can go to them for advice or support or just for some much needed kvetching when OH MY GOD KAYLEE IS ONLY FIVE WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE SHE’S GOING THROUGH PUBERTY? 

Which is the long winded way of saying that I have a great relationship with my mom but you can still rock motherhood if you don’t because YOU are going to be parenting your future children so YOU get to it your way and not your mom’s way.

  1. downtostars said: Poor anon. But great answer. My husband has a horrible father- in turn he has been determined to give our kids all he lacked. Having a poor parent will not make you one.
  2. erikawithac said: you are one of my future parenting role models jsyk
  4. ellegolightly said: "Can I hug you?" I already have a great mom, but if I didn’t, I’d pick you, for reals.
  5. librarianpirate posted this